Another Monday. Another cup of coffee. Another rush to get to the office.
Another moment of pushing down the dread of what’s ahead for the day.
I don’t talk much about my job online because I had this idea that if I did, people would not take me seriously as an author or as a business owner.
But that isn’t fair to you or to me. Being Director of Human Resources for my in-law’s company is part of my story.
I enjoy it on most days. I actually like organizing paperwork and sharing my knowledge of labor laws and tips on how to be a good supervisor. I even like filling out forms and employment verifications because it means I get to pick up my favorite pen and practice my penmanship!
In fact, I really enjoy my job between 11 am and 2 pm exactly.
But in the morning, I day dream of getting ready to work from my own workspace that I can decorate with exactly the furniture I want to surround myself in. (There’d be a velvet day bed and a big green plant and white paneled walls and a comfy bed for Bodie Pup.)
As I make the commute up the mountain with Bodie Pup leaning out the window of my pickup truck, I listen to business podcasts and plot out the creative boss babe community I am launching.
While I drink my second cup of coffee at my desk, I am usually checking my email and distracting myself with thoughts about my latest novel and how I will break through the dreaded (yet oh so important) second chapter.
By 11 am, I have fitted my heart into the mold of sitting at a desk and filing paperwork. I turn on the latest Agatha Raisin Mystery Audio Book I’m in the middle of and get to work.
By 2 pm, something stressful usually happens, and I am officially ready to quit.
On days when something stressful doesn’t happen, I can feel the stress rising in my shoulders as I wait for something stressful to happen. Sometimes the anticipation of stress is so bad I end up dipping out early before someone knocks on my door last minute and dumps a very avoidable problem (that is unnecessary complicated and needs to be solved immediately) on my desk.
The truth is, my job is to file paperwork, prevent problems, and fix crises. That’s what HR does. But the crises, the problems, and the stress that goes alongside this job have imprinted themselves (like muscle memory) on to me so deeply that it takes a full Saturday for me to shed that stress.
There is no salary that can compensate for that life, and mine (full disclosure) doesn’t even come close.
I live for my evenings and my weekends where I climb onto my couch and watch Hallmark Channel, build my business, and write my next novel.
That is not how life is supposed to be.
Do I have a solution for my circumstances?
Well, yes. But it’s not going to be easy.
As you get older, your life becomes more settled. People begin to rely on you, and that makes you happy. Habits become normal day-to-day life, and that makes you feel comfortable. Security has become more important than risk.
I was raised with the belief that I can do or be anything I want to do or be as long as I work for it. My life is in my hands. It will never be handed to me, but I am absolutely 100% capable of making it happen on my own.
And I have a few things that give me a step up. Like a really good education, parents who love and believe in me, and I enjoy learning new things!
I also have listened to Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up audio book exactly nine times.
(Which, I mean, is definitely my BIGGEST step up!)
I have been applying Marie Kondo’s philosophy on clutter with my life and my career. What are the parts that I choose to keep? What are the bits and pieces that I have to keep? What are the parts that have served their purpose in my life and are ready to be let go?
It feels less risky this way.
I am planning, I am committing, I am making choices that will bring me to the life I dream of living.
Simple, Clean, Cozy.
So cheers to another cup of coffee, babe! And another day to take another step towards the life you want to create!
Did any of my story resonate with you? I’d love to know your thoughts down in the comments!
Sending you love,